Fizzlesprocket Read online

  “Greetings, Master.”

  Xera materialized, grinning from ear to ear. Whether her good mood was because she had successfully fooled and betrayed an entire party of adventurers or due to the fact she experienced a fatal anal explosion was best left unsaid.

  “Scout the path,” ordered Boxxy, pointing deeper towards the forest with one of its arachnid limbs.

  “Understood, Master.”

  The succubus spread her wings and took to the air but ended up reporting back the instant she cleared the forest’s canopy.

  “Master, I see an old fort in the distance.”

  “What’s a fort?”

  “It’s … a stone building. Highly fortified and tricky to assault, but this one is in shambles. And before you ask – no, forts are not tasty.”

  “Oh. So the meat ran away to this fort thingy?”

  “I don’t know, Master, but it’s the most likely place that this path leads to. It’s actually not all that far away.”

  The Mimic was more than a bit surprised. Wasn’t this too easy? It quickly skittered up the side of a tree to get a good look for itself. Its needle-like spider legs dug into the bark as it ascended the tree trunk and climbed atop the thickest, tallest branch it could find. But even after going as high up as it could, it still couldn’t see above the treeline. This would probably be the first situation where it wanted to be taller. Well, not like that was impossible.

  The ghostly pale pseudo-Xera’s head poked out from the mass of leaves, giving Boxxy a vantage point similar to that of the already cringing demoness. The albino head swayed and shook awkwardly thanks to the metre-long neck it was attached to, massively creeping out the original in the process. She wasn’t a stranger to this sort of freakish display, but seeing her own body being stretched like that really got to her.

  Though whether she was shaking because of disgust or excitement was something she wasn’t quite ready to answer.

  The Mimic scanned the treeline and immediately saw what Snack was talking about. There was an overgrown tower poking through the treetops, with stone walls reminiscent of those around the (former) city of Monotal surrounding it. Peering into the distance, it also saw what looked like people patrolling on top of them. They were smaller than grains of rice from its point of view, but the two-legged, two-armed shapes were most definitely moving about.

  Humans liked hiding behind walls, so there was indeed a very good chance its quarry had run there. However, much like the city, there appeared to be quite a few sentries up on those crumbling walls. They were bound to discover it and raise an alarm, at which point it might get pincushioned by ranged attacks. Then again, it had a pretty tasty Snack-shaped distraction with which to befuddle them.

  Both of its demonic familiars had gotten stronger with its latest burst of Job and Skill Levels. Xera’s magic-focused Status in particular shined through as she surpassed 1,000 MP. The much higher INT would, without a doubt, make her Spells much more dangerous than Boxxy’s. While both monsters dealt a similar amount of damage with their respective magic, Snack could keep using her highly efficient fire-based Spells for much, much longer. The downside was that her physical Attributes were atrocious. A Level 17 Succubus and Level 12 Pyromancer with a maximum HP of 517 was pathetic from the Mimic’s point of view.

  There was more to a Status than simply Attributes though. The increase in Levels of Xera’s Jobs had also given her access to two brand new Skills she did not have until several minutes ago.

  [Invisibility]

  Succubi are tricksters of the highest order, capable of fooling even light itself.

  Requirements: Level 15 Succubus

  Type: Active

  Activation Time: 2 seconds

  Cost: 250 MP

  Range: Self

  [Effects]

  Grants invisibility for 30 seconds.

  Increases the duration of this Skill by 6 seconds per Level of this Skill.

  Casting a Spell or taking damage will negate the effect.

  The first was similar, yet completely different from Stealth. It confused the eyes but did not mask the noise she made, so she could still be detected by the sound of her footsteps or breathing. Her gliding around, however, was almost completely silent. Flying while under the effects of this Skill was perfect for scouting out enemy positions and getting the drop on others. The downside was that she had to stand perfectly still while activating it, which meant using this once combat started was ill-advised.

  [Mana Burn]

  A Pyromancer’s flames can burn away magic itself.

  Requirements: Level 10 Pyromancer, Devouring Flame, INT 45, WIS 45

  Type: Passive

  Range: 100 metres

  [Effects]

  Devouring Flame effect will reduce the target’s MP by an amount equal to 50% of HP damage dealt.

  Increases the duration of Devouring Flame by 0.5 seconds per Level of this Skill.

  This second one was perhaps not as impactful but seemed to be quite tasty nonetheless. Those Devouring Flames left behind by Snack’s magic were almost as bad as the Spell itself, but combined with this Skill it would make them even worse. The ability to reduce the target’s MP directly was undoubtedly going to be very useful in long fights, especially against opponents that could heal their wounds. It was unclear to Boxxy if it would have helped against the Fleshmaiden, but adventurers with healing magic were incredibly persistent if one was unable to take them out instantly. Another effective target would be people or monsters like Arms that had tiny MP pools compared to their absurd HP, as it would render then unable to use whatever Skills or Spells they had.

  But the Mimic was digressing. It still had people to slaughter, so it switched mental tracks from theorizing about the best way to murder things to putting said theories into practice.

  “Snack, we’re attacking that place.”

  It leapt off the tree and started making its way towards the ruined fort. Even if it could be seen from the treetops, it still took about twenty more minutes to reach the place. The sky steadily turned red and the sun was about to set by the time Boxxy reached its destination. It wasn’t bothered by the passage of time, though, as darkness was its ally. And the trip had given it time to prepare. Its Spell Crystals would last up to eighteen minutes now, which meant it could stockpile quite a few of them in advance. It took only a little over two minutes to recover the MP spent on a Bang Ball, so it could easily start the battle with five of them at the ready while still being on full MP.

  However, throwing them out in the middle of combat was going to be tricky, what with all the awkward flailing involved. That was why it gave four of them to the succubus, though it refused her request to stuff them up her ass. Even if she was adamant they would fit, that wasn’t the point. She had to throw them down from above as a surprise attack and Boxxy had serious doubts she would be able to evacuate her bowels quick enough to accomplish that. After all, once the keyword was spoken, all four of them would arm at the same time. And then there was the obvious lack of accuracy to consider with such a method. Therefore, she would just carry them around in her arms.

  “Now stop saying stupid things and go!”

  Xera’s idiotic monster of a master had called her ‘butt-bombing’ idea stupid. A brainless chest that bit people in the face as a way of saying ‘hello’ was looking down on her. And worst of all, it was completely in the right. A casual observer would expect a proud demon such as a succubus to feel scorned or disheartened at such a realisation, and they would be correct. In fact, if she were the same demoness as yesterday, she might actually suffer HP damage from that self-inflicted burn.

  “Right away, Master.”

  However, that Xera was gone. All that was left in her place was a shameless, hopeless, incorrigible pervert who was sorely disappointed she wasn’t going to get her anal cavity stretched and abused. Still, the succubus had orders to follow and the sooner she was done, the sooner she could resume choking on her co-contractor’s meat stick for
fun. She promptly activated her newly acquired Invisibility and took off from the ground into the air. She glided silently through the evening sky towards the bandit-infested fort some fifty metres away and began relaying the layout of the place back to Boxxy through the mind link.

  She had somewhat expected it at first, but the succubus calling that place a fort was an overstatement. In actuality, it was closer to ‘decrepit ruin’ if one were to be brutally honest. The main feature of the place was the fifteen-metres-tall half-collapsed stone tower. On the ground next to it stood an old two-story barracks made out of rotten wood. Opposing it stood a smaller stone building that doubled as both storehouse and armoury. Several shabby lodgings such as wooden shacks and primitive tents from animal hides and tree branches were strewn around the place. Those highly temporary lodgings had likely been erected in a hurry by the criminal gang that had turned the old military outpost into their base of operations.

  A collapsing wall about six metres tall and two metres thick surrounded the ancient compound. From the air, it looked like a lopsided rectangle with about thirty metres on each side and a small, circular turret on each corner. While not large enough to be a castle wall capable of repelling invaders, it was more than enough to ward off wild animals and monsters. About half of it had collapsed under the ravages of time and what remained looked as if it would fall over with a good push, although the same could be said of the other buildings.

  “I also see six lookouts on the wall, but I expect more to be inside,” said Xera, finishing off her report.

  “Good, then drop the Bang Balls to start the attack,” came the telepathic order.

  And it was obeyed, though reluctantly. The succubus armed the four crystals she was carrying and dropped them from above at random. One of them fell next to a bow-armed bandit on top of the wall, the resulting shockwave knocking him off his perch and down onto the ground. It also caused the aged wall to heave mightily under the stress and collapse into a pile of stones. The second magical bomb fell on the barracks, ripping a huge hole in its roof and wall. The last two didn’t hit anything of value and simply made small craters in the ground, kicking up a lot of dust and bother in the process.

  “The wall exploded!”

  “What the flying fuck was that!”

  Overall, the damage done was quite minimal. However, the collapsing wall, the screaming victim, and the exploded barracks all did their job of terrifying the simple bandits. Their reaction was to be expected, though. Just knowing magic existed didn’t mean you were mentally prepared to be attacked by it, especially not when it happened almost literally out of the blue. Thankfully for them, there was someone around to take charge of the situation.

  “Calm down. you worms!”

  A two-metre-tall scar-faced and red-haired man named Renmak came out of the ruined tower. He had just finished ‘interrogating’ the spineless worm who’d abandoned his twin brother, Makren. The idiot actually came back to their base rather than run off and die in the forest somewhere. Judging from his testimony about the ‘four-armed red nightmare’ and how he had soiled both sides of his pants while running away, it was clear to the former adventurer exactly who was attacking them.

  “It’s an enemy attack! It’s likely a Warlock!” he shouted. “Don’t bunch up! Scatter and find hi–”

  A mass of darkness hit him squarely in the back before he could even finish giving out orders, making him scream in pain as he fell forward.

  [Assassination Skill triggered. Your attack has dealt 300% more damage. Target HP -605.]

  [You have dealt a devastating blow. Target stunned for 5 seconds.]

  The other bandits looking in his direction were left speechless at the sudden turn of events. First their base started exploding for no good reason, and now one of those incredibly tough and fearsome twins was face-down on the ground with a hole in his upper back. It was as if some wild beast had snuck up on Renmak and taken a bite out of him.

  That wild guess wasn’t quite right, but it wasn’t entirely wrong either.

  *Krakakooom*

  The sound of roaring rained down on them from above. Looking up, they saw the bizarre combination of a box, a spider and a slut wrapped in a cloak of lightning, clinging to the side of the ruined tower.

  “Shadowbolt ~♪!”

  No longer needing to hide itself, Boxxy fired the empowered Spell at the collapsed bandit. It hit him in the waist, splitting him in two and finishing him off while leaving his heart and head intact. The Mimic then looked towards the other bandits, who felt dread wash over them when they saw its white lips curve into an impossibly wide smile in the shape of a crescent moon. And a few minutes later, the only thing left of those men was their mostly intact but significantly mutilated corpses. The combined magical barrage from Boxxy and Xera swept them away in a completely one-sided show of force. Bandits generally had few magic users on hand, and their leader had taken them all out to that ambush, along with the most capable fighters. The ones left behind were runts – good only for chasing monsters away or doing menial labour – so they never had a chance.

  Now that all of those pesky humans were out of the way, Boxxy was free to investigate their camp at its leisure. This was only its second time being in the same living space as humans, so it was quite curious as to what it would find. There wasn’t much to see, though. As expected of a bunch of outlaws inhabiting the woods, their living conditions were rather poor. Just being able to drink and eat on a regular basis and keep a roof over their heads was good enough for most of them.

  So it was understandable that the rickety huts and tents the lower-ranked members used held nothing of value. The wrecked barracks building that had been used as a combination common room and mess hall didn’t fare much better, either. Boxxy found a bunch of food which was immediately eaten and a few barrels of clean water that were completely ignored, but that was it.

  The smaller stone building proved to be much more fruitful, yielding a pile of weapons, armours and other miscellaneous items that caught the Mimic’s interest. These items must’ve belonged to the victims of these criminals, seeing as how they were bloodied, rusty, bent, broken, ripped, or in otherwise poor condition. They reminded Boxxy of that pile of scrap metal it left behind in the dungeon during its harrowing escape. Well, that particular collection of souvenirs was probably evaporated in the blast and none were even remotely shiny, so it didn’t think about them too much.

  Still, there was something to be found in this scrap heap. Boxxy looted a few swords that looked to be in mostly working order. There was also a set of ten basic – albeit identical – iron daggers that were also put away inside its Storage, mostly to be used as throwing knives should the need arise. It then went back outside and started using Cadaver Absorption on the corpses, out of which it only got two favourable outcomes.

  [Your Cadaver Absorption was a minor success!]

  [The body’s deteriorated condition has weakened this effect by 25%.]

  [12% of the target’s highest Attribute has been added to your own. END +7.]

  [Your Cadaver Absorption was a minor success!]

  [12% of the target’s highest Attribute has been added to your own. STR +13.]

  The vast majority were failures as expected. At the very least, this success rate was definitely higher than what it experienced while fighting in the forest. Both its LCK and its Cadaver Absorption Level had gone up significantly since its last real ‘harvest,’ so this much was natural. It still needed about 10% more Proficiency for Shapeshift to advance, though. Boxxy felt like it had just been repeating the same old transformations over and over, which didn’t really seem to afford it much progress towards the next Level. Even turning into a humanoid shape other than Xera’s did little for its Proficiency. Therefore, it would need to actively consider what new shapes and forms it could adapt as part of its continued training.

  But that would come later. Right now, it still had one more building to check: the ruined tower that the biggest of
the humans came out of. It walked into the building through a stone archway and looked around. There was a table with a bunch of papers and books in one corner and a number of chairs thrown haphazardly around it. Several unlit torches lined the walls and the starry night sky was visible through the missing parts of the wall and ceiling. There really wasn’t much to look at in this filthy place, yet Boxxy’s attention was focused on one single thing.

  The Mimic let out a loud, aggressive hiss as it took a few wary steps backwards and bared its teeth. In this place, against all odds, it was left face to face with that once more. The second toughest opponent it had ever run across. The Fleshmaiden was undoubtedly the worst, but that thing in front of the sentient chest had given it more trouble than everything else besides her. Even that janther was ultimately no big deal in comparison.

  “What’s the matter, Master?” asked Xera. She had followed her master into the room and was more than a little surprised to see it acting cautiously for no apparent reason.

  “Enemy! It’s an enemy!” it spat back.

  The succubus, however, still had no idea what Boxxy was talking about.

  All she saw was the base of an old, stone tower with nothing in it except for some shitty wooden furniture and what looked to be stairs leading down into some sort of basement, sealed off by an enchanted steel grate.

  Part Five

  “Dark Explosion!”

  *Ka-ponnn*

  The hateful steel grate was rocked by the most violent of Boxxy’s Spells. The metal creaked and groaned, but it survived with barely a dent. The stone brick doorway it was bolted to was equally unfazed.

  “Dark Explosion!”

  It tried again, but it didn’t fare any better. It didn’t seem like the grate was withstanding the force of those shockwaves, but more like the magic itself wasn’t exerting as much power as it normally would. That was because military fortifications such as this would have some sort of enchantment that would repel magical attacks. It was only common sense. Otherwise any moron with a bunch of Levels could topple a castle. The only reason Boxxy’s Spells worked on the walls outside was that the enchantments had all waned and lost their hold over the years. However, the magic built into the central part of the old fort had not succumbed to the ravages of time just yet, which was the only reason this tower was even standing in the first place.